You’ve got to stop blaming others for your problems. You must stop doing it. A fundamental principle for success you must embrace is this: You are responsible for your own happiness – Just you and no one else.
I experienced this first hand when I was building my online business. Until I took total responsibility for how MY LIFE turned out, nothing I tried to do would succeed.
Blaming others for your personal failures and mistakes will guarantee a continued parade of endless misery. The blame game will never end.
When you accept the idea that everything is someone else’s fault, and you don’t take personal responsibility for the decisions you make, life becomes an exercise in futility. When you have a lack of clarity in your life, you blame others for your misery.
Explaining away very problem becomes so commonplace that very few even recognize when it actually happens. There’s a scapegoat for every failure that allows individuals to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions.
Failure is never the result of the choices they themselves made. Oh no, it’s someone else’s’ fault. You lack any motivation to find a way to improve the quality of your life.
When you fail to responsibly guide the direction of your life and it’s outcomes, you set the stage for creating a life that is so miserable that none of your deeply held goals, aspirations and dreams will ever become a reality.
Make No Excuses
What exactly fuels the dysfunctional thinking that allows people to not take personal responsibility?
What fuels it is ALLOWING the thoughts in our mind to focus on negative experiences and outcomes.
When we make excuses for failure, excuses about the decisions we’ve made, excuses about our lack of choices in life, excuses about our lack of accomplishments — all of the above reinforces wrong thinking patterns.
The ONLY way to end the destructive behavior of making excuses is to change the way you think.
You’ve got to change the way you think.
Nothing – and I mean absolutely nothing – in your life will change until YOU change. Your circumstances won’t get better until YOU get better.
Nothing in your life will ever get better until YOU get better.
Dysfunctional thinking, undesirable actions and behaviors are a direct result of a failure on your part to reprogram your mind with information designed for successful living.
Failure in your personal and professional life is a direct result of both making excuses and not taking one hundred percent responsibility for your negative thoughts, lack of clear goals, and failure to take action.
The only way to stop the bad habit of making excuses for ourselves is to silence the negative, destructive voices in your head.
When you allow your thoughts to focus on how you can accomplish you goals, you free up vital emotional space formerly inhabited by negativity.
That negative voice in your head is like a bad cassette tape machine that runs endless loops over and over of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, misery and any other aspects of life that wallow in the mire of negativity.
How to Take Responsibility for Your Life
I’m going to tell you very specific ways to get control of the negative loop of unhappiness playing in your mind over and over again.
Step 1: Make a Decision.
Please understand that everything about and around you is a result of your own decisions – the choices you yourself have made. It’s been said that a decision is the bridge between your thoughts and your actions.
Having a lack of clarity in your life, you make decisions solely on avoiding negative consequences. You make decisions out of fear. Never make a decision out of fear alone.
When you decide you’ve had enough of making excuses for the quality of your life, you have started to take back control, and having a feeling of control is extremely important when you are trying to move forward.
Just make a decision RIGHT NOW that from this moment forward you will take massive action to change the course of your life; be determined to create an exciting, positive future for yourself through practical goal setting and relentless action to reach those goals.
The next time you catch yourself making an excuse, whether for the late project, the unmet goal, or the job you have chosen to work, gently remind yourself—no excuses.
Step 2: Engage in Personal Development to Redirect Negative Thoughts
One of the most significant statements ever made was by Earl Nightingale when he said: “We become what we think about most.”
Think about the truthfulness of those words; whatever you think about the most will without fail manifest in your life.
Here’s how to Interrupt that incessant negative loop that is playing in your mind and stop rehearsing that excuse-filled conversation: Spend time reading books that will reprogram your thought processes.
If you think this isn’t true, you are sadly mistaken! The worlds most successful CEO’s say READING is the key to their success. Here are a couple of real examples:
Microsoft owner Bill Gates reads about 50 books every year, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban reads three hours every day, Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook resolved to read 24 books in a year, and billionaire Warren Buffett spends 80 percent of his day reading.
How often do millionaires read? According to research from Thomas Crowley, 85 percent of self-made millionaires read two or more books per month.
Millionaires are financially successful because they take the massive action necessary to MAKE TIME reading books that encourage self-improvement.
The road to self-improvement is a life-long process. You are constantly working on yourself and maintaining the progress you’ve made.
I’m going to recommend a book to start out with if you’re really trying to control the negative thoughts and voice loops in your head and reprogram your mind for success:
This book is all about getting rid of unnecessary negative beliefs and self-talk and what is causing them in the first place. You will learn how to create goals that are in alignment with you and redirect your entire mindset.
This book is not just about the theory; you will get many practical exercises to put into immediate action. The authors help you to learn that once you control negative thoughts, you will make tremendous strides in the attainment of your goals.
You will find all the tools and action steps that you need to declutter your mind, create the life that you want by forming new thoughts and habits that work for you and not against you and how let go of anything that is no longer serving you.
Step 3: Continually Monitor Your Thinking and How You Talk to Yourself
When your thoughts are negative or unsupportive of your happiness and success, you have to change your thinking.
All successful people are flooded with negative thoughts, but they monitor these thoughts and don’t allow the negative ones any opportunity to grow.
This is to be done gently. Don’t beat yourself up, which is what most people do.
Make a specific effort to redirect your thinking to thoughts that support your happiness and success. Acknowledge the negative thought – don’t run from it.
Immediately replace the thought with positive reinforcement; verbal statements said in an undertone are very effective. Be specific. Talk to yourself to reinforce your new thought pattern.and tell yourself that
Another tremendous book that will help redirect your self-talk is: “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself”.
In this award-winning book by Dr Helmstetter, you will teach you how to completely change your self-talk on a daily basis and to overcome negative self-sabotage.
Despite the seemingly simple technique of self-talk, it is a very powerful way to tune your subconscious mind into the direction you want and to overwrite your beliefs and reprogram your mind through repetition.
This book shows you how to use your subconscious mind with its vast processing capacities to find solutions that will make you more aware of your thoughts and emotions. This book is a practical guide to change your self-talk on a daily basis.
At no time is positive self-talk more important than when events in our lives don’t go the way we anticipated. Indeed, even when events that are not under your control go very badly, make a determination of how you are going to respond.
Use unexpected negative events as an opportunity to learn and to grow.
Excuses is the fuel that makes failure run. Interrupt that incessant tape of negative self-talk playing in your mind and stop rehashing excuse-filled conversations.
Take Total Responsibility for Your Life Now
No one can live your life for you. You are responsible for the one life you have. Live every day as if everything you do matters. Every choice you make; every action you take – it really matters.
If there is anything you are not happy about in your life, career, health and money, make a definite decision about how you are going to change it.
In my own personal situation, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I needed a way out of lack and limitation. I never had what I needed when I needed it because I WAS BROKE.
Believe, there is “another level” in life: – it’s not just a cliché. It’s real
It’s the level where you and your family actually have CHOICES. You get to live where you want to live, drive what you want to drive, eat what you really what to eat for good health, Wear what you want to wear, not because it’s on sale, but because YOU WANT IT!
Do you want to experience the joy of having real choices?
Then change your life. Just change it!…
Make a decision.
Don’t waste your life or settle for second best by aimlessly existing, barely coping, or just getting by!
Create the life you want to live NOW!
You CAN do this! You WILL do this!